Kudzu is green,
 my dog's name is Blue
 And I'm so lucky
 to have a sweet thang like you.
 
 Yore hair is like cornsilk
 A-flapping in the breeze.
 Softer than Blue's
 And without all them fleas.
 
 You move like the bass,
 Which excite me in May.
 You ain't got no scales
 But I luv you anyways.
 
 You're as graceful as okry
 Jist a-dancin' in the pan.
 Yo're as fragrant as SunDrop
 Right out of the can.
 
 You have all yore teeth,
 For which I am proud;
 I hold my head high
 When we're in a crowd.
 
 On special occasions,
 When you shave yore armpits,
 Well, I'm in hawg heaven,
 I'm plumb outta my wits.
 
 And speakin' of wits,
 You've got plenty fer shore.
 'Cuz you fell fur me
 Back in  ... 94?
 
 Still them fellers at work
 They all want to know,
 What I did to deserve
 Such a purty, young doe.
 
 Like a good roll of duct tape
 Yo're there fer yore man,
 To patch up life's troubles
 And stick 'em in the can.
 
 Yo're as strong as a four-wheeler
 Racin' through the mud,
 Yet fragile as that sanger
 Named Naomi Judd.
 
 Yo're as cute as a junebug
 A-buzzin' overhead.
 You ain't mean like no far ant
 Upon which I oft' tread.
 
 Cut from the best pattern
 Like a flannel shirt of plaid,
 You sparked up my life
 Like a Rattletrap shad.
 
 When you hold me real tight
 Like a padded gunrack,
 My life is complete;
 Ain't nuttin' I lack.
 
 Yore complexion, it's perfection,
 Like the best vinyl sidin'.
 Despite all the years,
 Yore age, it keeps hidin'.
 
 And when you get old
 Like a '57 Chevy, I
 Won't put you on blocks
 And let grass grow up heavy.
 
 Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie
 With a RC cold drank,
 We go together
 Like a skunk goes with stank.
 
 Some men, they buy chocolate
 For that special Birthday;
 They git it at Wal-Mart,
 It's romantic that way.
 
 Some men git roses
 On that special day
 From the cooler at Kroger.
 "That's impressive," I say.
 
 Some men buy fine diamonds
 From a flea market booth.
 "Diamonds are forever,"
 They explain, suave and couth.
 
 But for this man, honey,
 These will not do.
 For you are too special,
 You sweet thang you.
 
 I got you a gift,
 Without taste nor odor,
 Better than diamonds
 it's a new TROLLIN' MOTOR!.

Author
Known, but Unknown

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